The most important thing

I recall my flight leaving Montreal and going to Europe for six months. I had been through so many emotions... At first, after taking my seat next to the friend I did this experience with, I thought: “How exciting! We are so lucky… we are going to have a blast!”

Then not long after the take-off, I was starting to feel sad and this sadness grew exponentially. I was thinking about my friends and family I would not be able to see for half a year… “Are they going to be ok?”, ”Will my friends move on?” “Will my four year old nephews forget me?” I had also just opened a very touching card my older sister, who had taken care of me like a second mother all my life, wrote to me telling me how much she loved me and asked me to be careful as she could never forgive herself if something happened to me.

About an hour later, my sadness had become fear. “Did I do the right choice?” “What if I don’t like it over there?” “What if I need help or I get sick and there’s nobody to help me?” And the worse part was the little anxiety attack that followed during the night (it was a night flight). “I loved my life in Montreal, why did I leave… what I am doing?” But I went to sleep and finally woke up the next morning, happier than ever to begin this adventure in Paris.

Now I’ve been back for three weeks and at times it feels as though my trip was a dream! It went by so fast… To be honest, I’ve been doing everything I can in order to escape reality. Indeed, I lived at my brother’s for a week, at my sister’s here and there, I slept over at my friend’s place once, I hadn’t told my superiors I was back until yesterday… and I even had not fully unpacked until this week!

Coming back, I thought it would be very difficult and that is why I’ve been acting this way…to avoid having to deal with my emotions. After doing more or less trivial things I couldn’t do in Amsterdam such as having poutine, crepes with real maple syrup, ordering my favorite sushi, driving my car around the city, getting a massage by the best massage therapist who happens to be my mom and picking up my house phone even though I had no one to call, I thought ‘’What now?’’

But today I wonder if maybe returning was not as hard as I thought it would be. Of course I sometimes think about Europe and how I miss my life over there. I miss some people so much it hurts sometimes, I miss travelling and meeting tons of amazing people, I miss my bicycle, my apartment, and simply waking up in Amsterdam.

Although now, I am around my family and friends who have always been there to support me, and that’s the most important thing. Those are also the people who will stand by me as I “rebuild” my life here. There are just people you love so much and connect with on such a high level that you can easily put your relationship “on hold” without loosing it.

I have to say I’m truly amazed with human beings’ ability to adapt to different environments so easily. Isn’t it funny how I was scared to leave Montreal and then had such a good time abroad that I came back halfhearted? I’m thinking that if I was able to create a new life over there, it should be a lot easier here now that I have my family and friends around. As a conclusion, it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you’re with.

Although I’m not going to lie…I’m already planning my next trip!

The End

I am currently in Barcelona where I decided to spend my last ten days and it’s really nice. The weather is great, the beach is close by, shopping is ridiculously cheap, and I’m living in the best hostel I could have ever chosen (Sant Jordi Sagrada Familia). I would say it’s similar to “L’auberge espagnole” although people come and go. It’s a hostel composed of apartments enclosing a single, double and quadruple room with a shared kitchen, living room and bathroom as well as a common area for everyone. So everyday I come home and meet up with this French guy who is living here for two weeks as well as different people everyday or so.

The first afternoon I got here, I had 3 Australian roommates and had the best time with them as we went to watch the world cup at Placa Espanya on a giant screen , then went out to a club where we had a couple of shots and ended up sleeping on the beach waiting for the metro to reopen. Today I have Italian roommates. We spent some time talking and listening to Italian and Canadian music, they are so funny. And other than wondering who I will have as roommates the next coming days, what’s good about this hostel is that there are parties organized every night.

I also had the chance to spend a few days with my roommate from Amsterdam who’s been living here as well as one of my best friends from Canada who was here for the weekend. We spent an evening together at the luxurious W hotel where she was staying and it was magical. I hadn’t seen her in six months and it felt unreal to be reunited in Barcelona, in the sky bar from the hotel.

Even though my time here has been amazing so far, I can’t help but feel a little sad. In just a few days, I’ll be back home… and everyday feels like I’m closer to something I want but don’t want at the same time. I am obviously looking forward to seeing my family and friends and just be home…but I have the feeling of leaving something behind and it’s difficult. At times, I cannot help but wonder how my return will go. Will I miss Europe so much that I won’t be able to enjoy it? Will I get used to my old life? Will it be relatively the same as when I left? And if not, will I like it?

The weird thing about coming home is that some things will have changed. For example, like many others, I left having someone in my life and will return single. I also recently learned that one of my good friends is moving to Toronto which is about 6 hours away by car. It’s not the end of the world… but it’s still something I’m going to have to get used to. I know that other students have had even more difficult situations to deal with though, from having to leave the girlfriend/boyfriend they made during the semester, to coming back home with a relative “missing”.

It is obvious that our lives will never be the same, although, if we don’t like our “new” lives, we’ll just have to make the necessary modifications. At least now we know that our lives can be anything we want them to be. Like my European “BFF” repeatedly told me before I left, we need not to be sad it’s over but happy it happened. After all, this is not the end but rather the beginning…

Do I regret?

Before coming to Europe, I had a lot of money put aside for future expanses. When I will leave this beloved continent, I will probably not have a single penny left! This has led some people to ask me if I regretted doing this and even questioned the worthiness of this trip. For instance, when my parents came to visit me and I announced to them that I was thinking about extending my trip to work in Europe for the summer, my dad told me: “You are living in a bubble and it’s time you get out of it.” And I think the conversation ended with something like “This is not your life, you don’t belong here.” …

At that time I was incapable of rebutting. Indeed, I could not transmit to him how much this experience has made me grow, how much I learned about life, culture and myself. Living in a foreign country for six months is challenging. The only thing you arrive with is yourself, yet nobody knows you. You need to rebuild everything that you have built for…as long as you lived! It is also even more difficult for those who do not speak English very well, or the country’s language, as they can have a hard time communicating with others and simply being themselves.

Living in Amsterdam for six months did not only teach me about Dutch culture. I learned about many different cultures through travelling but mainly through hanging out with the international students. What is better than the opportunity to live with people you have common interests with that come from all over the world? Indeed, while studying abroad, you get to know people who are your age and study in the same field as you. The only thing that truly differentiates you from them is your cultural background. When do we ever get this chance? This is an incredibly enriching experience as you learn about their way of thinking and get to have an idea of how their lives are back home!

The only regret I have is to have missed out on many opportunities to get to know everyone better. For instance I let pass many “get-togethers” for unimportant reasons such as "I am too tired", and at the end of the semester, when I had no more schoolwork to do, I realized I did not know most of the students… Realizing that made me reflect on my short stay here. I was kind of disappointed with myself for not talking to all of them more often and getting to know them better. I was lucky enough to have "one last chance" to get to know them by staying an extra month after school was over. Nevertheless, if there is one thing I would change about my stay here is to never miss an occasion to hang out with the exchange students.

This was my first time in Europe and before that, I have to admit I knew little about culture. Other than going to the United States a few times, I had never really travelled. This flight ticket was even the first one I purchased! After this experience, I will definitely be more opened towards other cultures and tourists, because I was one myself for a long period of time. I will also do everything I can to travel a lot more in the future.

Lastly, although none of us feel we have learned much in school, I think we can all agree on the fact that we have learned more than books can teach us. And even though I am close to being financially insolvent, I am going back to my motherland richer than ever. I am richer because I have wonderful lifetime memories and knowledge. This whole experience was worth every penny and for anyone who is hesitant about doing an exchange, I can honestly tell you it is one of the greatest opportunities ever, so pursue it!

Hippie Village

Last week, I discovered a very unusual place. A place you would never think exists on this earth. It’s the kind of place a friend of a friend knows about. I guess we could say only people who are predisposed to it know about it. Located in the middle of nowhere, actually 20 minutes southwest of Amsterdam, it is a Hippie Village called Ruigoord.

After doing some research, I learned that this community has developed organically, meaning it expanded without a fixed plan or any outside intervention. It is said that the “green oasis” where Ruigoord is located meets the needs of artists wishing to take a step back from the concerns of urbanized and industrialized areas. Wishing to share their “raison d’être” which is something close to collective development, they open their doors during the week for many kinds of workshops and on the weekends for partying.

When you first enter this village, you kind of feel the need to pinch yourself in order to make sure you are not dreaming. If you ever wondered how the 70’s were like, I am convinced this place would give you a pretty good idea. Indeed, there are stands selling everything from vintage clothing to fruits and tea, and as you get closer to the church, you can witness people gathered around a big fire purely enjoying the night.

The party mainly takes place in an old church that becomes a nightclub when the evening arrives, in which everybody can dress and do whatever he or she feels like doing without anyone judging. For that matter, this church is referred to as the cultural center of the village. It can serve as a space for events, concerts, shows, exhibitions, festivals and literary gatherings. People there are so nice that you could think every single one of them has signed a contract obligating them to "live and let live".

Inside this church, trance music was flowing, vibrations running through people’s veins, hearts beating with the same rhythm and bodies dancing freely. Those who have been inside can probably agree that it feels as though there is a “God” looking over you, forgiving you for all the mistakes you made, giving you the chance to forget about whatever pain you might have, allowing you to be anyone you want for the night, and simply opening your eyes to this world’s beauty.

I believe this church and even this village has an invisible power, one that brings people closer by making them more in touch with their emotions. As a matter of fact, as described on the website, that community’s aim is “utopia: the socialization of the peak experience, the realization of individual wishes on a social level”. I am glad I discovered this place, even though I did just a few weeks before I leave this land forever. We had a memorable “last” night there and it was a great way to end this semester!

If you enjoy out-of-the-ordinary experiences and/or like partying all night, I suggest you make a detour and visit Ruigoord. There are many festivals that take place during the summer so if you are interested in going, you should visit their website at www.ruigoord.nl and click on “agenda”, among other things to make sure the festivity appeals to you and the price (between 10 and 35 Euros for big festivals) fits your budget.

There's just something about Amsterdam

When mentioning Amsterdam, the words that come to many people’s minds are marijuana and prostitution. Needless to say this city is much more than that. Amsterdam is the city where people are always offering their help if one seems like he needs it, where the pace of life is slow and refreshing, where you can go to any park any day, when the weather allows it, and find a huge amount of people having picnics and enjoying each other’s company, where everybody travels by means of bicycle, where children are given an incredible amount of trust by their parents, where dogs are almost considered as humans, where you can go out any night and any time and have a good time, where the beautiful canals make you daydream and much more. On that note, I thought it would be interesting to point out a few differences between Amsterdam and Montreal, my hometown.

First of all, it is much more equal here in Amsterdam. For example, Dutch men rarely pay for women. When they go out, it is only normal that they split the check. In Montreal and other places such as France, men usually pay for women especially in the beginning of a relationship as it is a way for them to show women that they enjoyed their company and would like to see them again. This is a question of culture, but the fact that women in Amsterdam pay for themselves comes with many advantages that the other way of doing things does not offer.

Also, as I mentioned in my article “Arrival in Amsterdam”, the products are very different. For example, Clamato juice simply does not exist here. In fact, if you go to a restaurant or a bar and ask for a Bloody Ceasar, there is a good chance you will get a strange look. Also, cranberry juice seems rare here as it happened to me a couple of times (at different places) where I was told they did not serve Vodka cranberry! Vodka cranberry… one of the most common drinks in Montreal. Another unusual thing is that deodorants in sticks are impossible to find. Rather, they are sold in sprays and roll-ons. One last example is that gum mostly comes in bags instead of individual 12 gum packages and most flavors are unfamiliar.

Another difference but this one slightly unfavorable is that you get charged for everything in Amsterdam. For example, when ordering French fries in fast food restaurants such as McDonalds and Burger King, there is an extra fee for ketchup. A small container in which you can dip a maximum of 10 fries costs 0.40 Euros. Also, people have to pay 0.50 Euros each time they need to use public bathrooms (in most places). Maybe this explains why we find urinals on the street…

When it comes to dogs, they walk around without leashes. They are surprisingly very well trained. Allowed in most public places such as stores and public transportation, you see them everywhere. They receive incredible treatment and you even begin to think of them as human beings. <3

Eating habits are also different. Dutch love dairy products and drink huge containers (500 ml) of milk or yogurt in public, and this, at any time of the day. They also eat sandwiches for breakfast. And as for lunch? They eat another sandwich. This one can actually contain nothing more than one slice of cheese. Potatoes, eggs and cheese are part of their everyday meals. Beer is also a big thing here in Holland. It is even allowed to drink beer at the movie theater (but forbidden to eat and drink in public transportation)! If you ever go to Amsterdam, it is a must that you try Indonesian food. I recommend a restaurant called Tempo Doeloe, not for its nice decor but for its delectable traditional Indonesian food and great service.

Last but not least, it is inspiring to see how people in Amsterdam are very down-to-earth. The best example I can give is that the main transportation mean is the bicycle. Dutch people do everything and go everywhere with their bicycle. In the morning, you see mothers bringing their children to daycare, men in suits going to work, people going grocery shopping, bringing their dogs to the veterinarian and at night you see them dressed nicely and going out by means of bicycle. They also eat, talk on the phone and even hold hands while cycling. Not only is this environmental friendly but it also gives you the opportunity to be outdoors a lot and connect differently with the city. In Montreal, almost everyone has a car and uses it everyday to do everything…

If you ever get to spend some time in Amsterdam you will understand how difficult it is to leave it “forever”. I will miss a lot of things about it, but what I will miss the most is riding my bicycle everywhere, and this is coming from a girl who hadn’t been on a bicycle since she was 10 years old! It actually took me some time to buy one, but once I did I realized how amazing it was and regretted waiting so long to get one. I truly wish every city were structured in order to accommodate bicycles like Amsterdam does…and maybe this is something to consider in the future, especially since the environment is in desperate need of our help.

This city is amazing and I am truly thankful for the time I spent here. There is just something about it…

Saying goodbye…

One might think the hardest part is leaving your friends and family behind to go on this exciting adventure… but saying goodbye to the people you met during this experience is much more difficult because those you do not get to say goodbye to temporarily…

My friend who came to Amsterdam with me just moved out of our apartment today. She left Amsterdam “for ever” and took off to Barcelona where she will spend the summer with her boyfriend. This event validates the end of our journey and that’s why it’s so difficult. The feeling I got when I closed the door behind her was close to abandonment even though it’s really not! I can’t say we depended on each other, but we came here together and just knowing we were there for one another in case of need was a reassuring feeling. The positive thing is I will see her when I return to Montreal where we will finish our education together.

Now there are close to a hundred more goodbyes to say. First of all, goodbye to all the international students. Those people you lived in the same building as, went to school with, partied with, and just shared the experience with. Those who were your friends, your friends for a period of six months... Some you will miss, and some you will deeply miss. Some you might visit, some you might write to on a regular basis, others you will somewhat stay in touch with, but there is a good chance most of them you might not see nor speak to very much anymore. What’s also difficult is that they all leave on different days, so it’s like taking off a band-aid slowly instead of all at once. Coming here we all knew we would have to say goodbye in the end as it’s part of the process, but thinking about it and experiencing it are two different things.

Then you have to say goodbye to the local friends you made, those who were so helpful throughout the semester as they were able to give you advice on about everything. For my part, I will miss one girl in particular, one very special girl with a golden heart. One who would be a very close friend of mine if an ocean did not separated us. As I mentioned to her, coming to Europe I knew I would make friends, but I could have never imagined meeting a friend I would care about this much. It’s truly heartbreaking to know you might never see that person again, but I guess you need to be thankful that your lives crossed.

One last painful goodbye to say is goodbye to freedom. Indeed, living abroad is like putting your life on hold. You can almost compare it to living someone else’s life. You move to a foreign country, you don’t know anyone (other than the friends you came with), you don’t speak the language, you don’t work (although you could) and you go to school but your grades don’t count (depends on your school). It’s comparable to a long vacation where you have the opportunity to learn and reflect on your life.

This wonderful chapter of my life is sadly coming to its end, but I will make sure I enjoy every single moment that is left. I am looking forward to having a memorable last month despite all the heartbreaking goodbyes I will need to face.

Arrival in Amsterdam

This is the view from my room (the picture was taken in May)


Last January, after a stressful train ride from Paris to Amsterdam (my friend and I flew to Paris to stay for a week before starting school), we took a cab to get to our residence because we realized it was not an easy task to walk around with the amount of luggage we had brought! I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a cold and cloudy winter day. We first went to the student housing corporation's office to get our keys and were told they had sent some people to one of the two residences building and they were the ones who had our keys. So we dragged our luggage in the snow and took another taxi. 20 more Euros later, we finally found the building. Meeting the staff was a relief as it was the first real contact we got and they were there to guide us. After signing the contract, getting some documents, useful information and receiving the keys to our apartment, we left and walked towards our building located a minute away.

We then arrived to number 22 and unlocked the door to find an apartment filled with cockroaches! You cannot imagine how shocked and disappointed we were, especially now that it was too late to do anything about it since we arrived just before 4 o’clock, which was the time the staff was there until. The only thing I could do was open my computer and get in contact with my friends and family through Skype to get a little encouragement…

Here is a video of when we first got inside the apartment. It is in french but as you can sense in my tone of voice, I was pretty upset...



It was getting late and my friend and I had not eaten much that day, so we walked to the grocery store located a block away, and that’s when we first experienced culture shock. The products were so unfamiliar and all the ingredients were written in Dutch. When we asked one of the employees where we could find the pita bread because we assumed they had some, we were surprised to find out the employee barely spoke English and had no idea what we were talking about. By the way we found the pita bread, but it’s nothing like the big and thin one we are used to. Anyways, after spending about half an hour in there, we returned to our new home to have dinner in my room because it was the only place where the cockroaches were not present (although there were some dead ones on the wall)! Later on we went to bed and tried to get some sleep even though it was quite difficult.

The next morning, we woke up early and were happy to first of all get out of our apartment, but more importantly to go to school to attend the introduction day. Luckily, we got to speak to the women who gave us our keys the day before, and she agreed to give us the keys to another apartment for us to stay in while they would take care of the problem. With this being solved, we were glad to move on with our day and meet the other international students. That evening, the international students were invited to do a pub-crawl organized by Babylonix, a student’s association. That night was memorable. It was the beginning of our “new life”.

Arriving to a different country can be scary, but faith is very important. Although I’m the first one to be very cautious about what’s around me when I travel, I learned that sometimes you just need to let people who you feel look trustworthy help you. After all, every single one of us will need help at some point in our lives, and that’s one of the reasons we exist, to help each other out.